


Quantum Indeterminacy

by fanpirex (Kingsy)



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Fitz deserves more recognition, Gifted OC, I'm not sure where I'm going with this, Inhumans (Marvel), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, Souls
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-05-10 09:37:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14734500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kingsy/pseuds/fanpirex
Summary: Charlie's gift catches SHIELD's attention, but she's more interested in Fitz.This will loosely follow AoS, though I might divert from cannon at times. First chapter is prior to the show and the second quickly dives into 1x05Girl in the Flower Dress.





	1. Chapter 1

At thirteen years old, Charlie woke up one day and her sheets were bright crimson. She had expected this for a little while, as her mother warned her it might be a shock. She didn't cry, or panic. She cleaned herself up, found a sanitary towel and bungled her sheets into the washing machine. It was entirely normal, she knew, and so she remained entirely calm albeit somewhat somber.

She only screamed when her mother walked into the room.

It took her months to properly accept her gift (and her mother was very firm that it wasn't a curse or punishment). Souls, her mother would whisper. Mostly beautiful and sometimes terrifying, every person had a soul and Charlie could see them.

Her mother's soul was comforting and so very bright.

"Mum, why can't I see my own? What if... what if I don't have one?"

"Of course you have one, love," her mother smiled, running a hand over Charlie's hair. "Maybe yours is so blinding that your gift decided to hide it, so you could see everyone else's soul."

"But why do I need to see everyone's soul?"

"I don't think it's a case of need, Charlie."

"I don't understand."

"Sometimes miracles just happen, and your gift is a miracle. There's no rhyme or reason." Seeing her daughter remain frustrated at this answer, she smiled again. "I'm sure one day you'll make your own reason."

Charlie frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You have so much kindness and empathy. When you're older and have full control of your gift and all its potential, I know you'll do something great with it. You'll help people."

A smile formed on Charlie's face. "That sounds nice."

It was a few years before she could dim her view of souls enough to really see the people behind them again. She would constantly become dazzled and distracted by the lights, causing her many bruises as she ran into things. Her teachers thought she had something wrong with her eyes and the other kids made fun of her, but her mother encouraged every bit of progress she made until she didn't crash into walls and she could clearly read people's expressions and body language again.

She found she could get a general read on someone from how their soul looked and felt to her. Some people were warm and inviting, others teasing and playful. The kids who bullied her were always cold but with hurt deep inside themselves.

Her mother taught her to look past surface feelings and try to understand the circumstances. She taught her that a person can be cruel and still have a bright soul, because they can be redeemed; that one mean action didn't equate to the whole person.

Charlie was seventeen when her mother was hit by a car. She didn't find a soul as bright as hers for a long time.

* * *

Like a silly little moth flying towards the sun, Charlie was attracted to bright souls. She could sense them somewhere deep within herself and she couldn't shake the urge to find them. Most of the time, the people she came across with such lovely souls were completely ordinary in every way except how astonishingly well-meaning they were. But sometimes she met people who were gifted, like her, and they weren't always nice. 

One night, she had been drawn to a bright soul as she walked through London. The man she found was crying in an alleyway, his hands covered in a thin layer of ice, like he'd stuck them in a freezer wet. She hadn't known what to do, whether he needed medical attention, and had asked if he could still feel his hands. 

He looked up at her and sobbed out, "I killed them!" 

She stilled, suddenly wary. "Who?" 

"Oh god. Linda," he cried. "Mikey!" 

"And how did you do that?" she asked, keeping an eye on his hands where frost was steadily building up thicker and thicker. 

He looked down at them too and gasped for breath. "What am I?" 

She pressed her lips together and knelt near him. "What's your name?" She kept her voice soft. 

"I killed my son!" 

"Calm down," she instructed, seeing ice form beneath his feet too. "Everything will be okay." 

He glared at her. "Nothing will be okay!" 

"Sir," she tried but he suddenly stood, towering over her. 

"Get away from me!" He shoved at her. 

She gasped, feeling her shoulder burn coldly as she fell to the ground. 

The man looked around the alleyway, his eyes crazed. "What am I? I wouldn't have done that, I wouldn't have killed them! Did you do this to me?" He moved towards her, his fists clenched angrily. 

"I didn't do anything," she promised. "I just want to help you." 

"Why? Who are you?" he yelled. 

"My name's Charlie, I have a gift, like you," she spoke quickly, nodding at his hands. 

"This? This isn't a gift! What's wrong with you?" 

He went to grab her but she'd had enough and threw her hand out at him. He yelped and tried to curl into himself protectively. "What are you doing?" 

Breathing heavily, Charlie got up from the floor. "I'm squeezing your soul. I don't mean to hurt you, but I needed you to stop. Please just calm down." 

Suddenly a dart stuck itself into the man's neck and he slumped to the ground. Charlie let go of his soul and backed away quickly, but before she could run, another dart found her own neck and her eyes fluttered closed. 

She awoke groggily, realising her hands were cuffed to the metal table in front of her and she was sat in an otherwise empty room that clearly had a one-way pane of glass. 

As her eyes adjusted to the bright light, the door opened to let in a suited middle-aged man. 

"Hi there," he said. He was American. 

She squinted at him. His soul was bright, soothing, and her shoulders relaxed slightly. "Who are you? Where am I?" 

"My name is Agent Phil Coulson," he replied easily. "This is a secure holding cell, the exact location of which I cannot divulge to you." 

Charlie tried to control her breathing. "Why am I here?" 

He smiled passively. "I think you know." 

"But I didn't do anything." 

His head titled at her. He glanced down at the folder he carried with him and sat opposite her at the table. After a moment of silence, he crossed his arms. "Charlotte Browne, 21, born in Oxford, studied psychology, an only child, mother dead, father in prison." 

She clenched her teeth together. 

"And gifted," he finished. 

"Why am I here?" she asked again. 

"I'm from the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division. We have a proposition for you." 

She blinked at him. "I'm sorry, you're from what?" 


	2. Chapter 2

Charlie sighed as she hung up the phone. It had been four years since she'd agreed, somewhat reluctantly, to call SHIELD when she found another gifted. She disliked being on their Index, and she disliked putting others on it, but she understood the need for some kind of regulation of sometimes dangerous individuals. Occasionally, SHIELD would fly her out to someplace where a suspected gifted was and have her approach them. She apparently had a very reassuring demeanor. 

She herself had been given a lower threat level, though only after being asked if she could have hurt that poor man by squeezing his soul too much. Her response had been simple. "But why would I want to?"  

She wasn't stupid; she knew SHIELD kept tabs on her regardless, knew they didn't think her entirely harmless. She had agreed to consult them on other gifted mostly due to wanting to help in some way. She liked to think that being involved in the process gave her more control on the situation, and that this way, she could actually do what her mother said she would. 

Charlie was just about to slip the phone into her pocket when it started buzzing. Surprised at the name on the screen, she answered. "I literally just hung up on you people two seconds ago." 

"I need a favour," Coulson replied. "Remember that street magician we got you to scout for us?" 

She frowned. "The one in China? Pyrokinetic, right?" 

"He's been taken." 

* * *

"So you call this thing the Bus?" Charlie's tone was definitely sarcastic as she stepped up the ramp.  

Coulson smiled at her. "It's an inside joke." 

"I'm sure." Coulson held her arm to steady her as the plane took off again, heading for Hong Kong. "So what exactly do you need me for?" 

"You made the final call on Chan. I figured your input would help us get him back." 

Charlie scoffed. "I barely know the guy. I talked to him for twenty minutes, hardly best friends." 

"You're a good judge of character," Coulson glanced at her knowingly. 

"I'm really not," she shook her head. "People's souls aren't just black or white. Plus, I try not to look at them." 

He had an odd expression on his face. "So you can't see mine right now? It's a choice?" 

She smirked. "I've gotten better at turning it off, yeah. Kind of distracting otherwise. And I think it's a little violating," she shrugged. "I just feel better not looking all the time. So yes, your soul is safe from my eyes." 

"Coulson," a tall man approached them.  "This is your contact then?" 

"Charlie," she waved. 

Coulson smiled. "Miss Charlie Browne, this is Agent Grant Ward." 

Ward nodded to her in greeting before motioning behind him. The three continued walking through the Bus. "Sir, FitzSimmons are getting all the data they can on Lydon. So far, nothing useful." 

"Has he and Skye revealed anything yet?" 

"No, they're too busy arguing." 

Coulson nodded. "Okay. May's got us flying to China. Help FitzSimmons with the search. I want Charlie to... Charlie?" 

Without warning, she had stopped, staring blankly at a wall. Coulson exchanged a look with Ward and backtracked to her. 

"Charlie? You okay?" 

"It's so...  _beautiful_ ," she breathed. 

Coulson looked at where she was staring and almost smiled. Ward started to ask questions but she was moving again, walking with such blind determination that Coulson had to steer her away from the doorframe before she clipped her shoulder. 

The babbling in the room quietened as Simmons and Fitz looked up at their audience. Charlie had stopped again, an almost reverent smile overtaking her face. 

"You're so blinding," she whispered. 

Fitz glanced over at Simmons. "Pardon?" 

After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Charlie came back to herself and shut off her gift abruptly. Something inside her mourned the loss of such a wonderful soul. Realising she was staring at the young Scottish man who'd spoken, she flushed red and looked away. 

"Sorry," she shook her head. "I, just, um... Never mind." 

Coulson smiled. "Charlie, this is Agent Leo Fitz and Jemma Simmons."  

The scientists said their hellos, Simmons friendlier than Fitz who still looked confused. Ward frowned. "Coulson, what's wrong with her?" 

At that, Charlie's embarrassment fled and she turned to glare at the specialist. "There is nothing  _wrong_ with me, thank you very much." 

Coulson put a hand on her shoulder. "Charlie is gifted." 

Simmons gasped. "Oh, how exciting! What are your powers?" 

Charlie shifted on her feet, reluctant to answer under the suddenly intense gaze of Fitz. Coulson's face was slightly amused. "She sees souls. I guess Fitz here has a very pretty one. Congratulations." 

"Souls? No, that's impossible," the scientist shook his head. When Charlie peeked at him through her lashes, he blushed. "Not that I'm saying you're lying, it's just that, well, quantum indeterminacy does -" 

"Okay," Coulson interrupted. "Let's get back to work please. Charlie is going to help us bring Chan back in. She's the one who properly acquainted him with SHIELD and I trust her judgement, so she'll hopefully help us understand his motives." 

"Motives?" Charlie repeated. "I thought you said he was taken. Why is he under suspicion?" 

Coulson sighed. "Why don't we fill you in?" 

* * *

Charlie stood awkwardly to one side as Coulson and his team gathered around a table/monitor. The woman she'd just been introduced to shortly as Melinda May gave her a scrutinising stare but said nothing. Charlie wasn't sure how comfortable everyone was around gifted individuals, and given the strange first impression she'd made, she didn't want to push herself into their group to chip in on the meeting. Fitz was still glancing at her every now and then when he thought she and the others weren't looking. 

"It appears Centipede is responsible for Mr Chan’s kidnapping," Coulson announced. "We've encountered them before," he added, purely for her benefit, she was sure, "and they're certainly meddling where they shouldn't." 

Ward nodded, "First LA, now Hong Kong. What kind of organization are we dealing with?" 

"International, well-financed, interested in creating a super solider. Let’s hope finding Mr Chan will provide some answers. Using the account information Mr Lydon gave us, SHIELD HQ believes he’s being held here." Coulson pointed to an area on the map before them. 

May looked to the scientists. "Any ideas what Centipede wants with Chan?" 

"Hard to say," Fitz said, "but Simmons thinks that considering he’s pyrokinetic -"  

"There’s a good chance his genetics could stabilize the Extremis element of the Centipede serum," Simmons finished. 

"Keep their test subjects from going…"  

He made an explosion gesture with his hands as Simmons exclaimed, "Boom!" 

"They're using gifted to enhance their formula?" Charlie's voice cracked. "I assume it isn't by noninvasive means." 

The others were silent, the scientists shuffling their feet uncomfortably as May and Ward's expressions hardened. Coulson's eyes were kind and determined. "If Mr Chan is Centipede’s lab rat, we need to get there before the experiment’s over." 


	3. Chapter 3

"So what's my role in this again?" Charlie asked in a hushed tone as she followed Coulson, May, Agent Kwan and one of Kwan's team members through the facility's corridors. 

"You're here to talk Chan down if necessary, but hopefully it won't come to that," Coulson replied. 

"And if he doesn't listen to me?" 

"I won't make you use your powers to hurt him," he assured, knowing that was what she meant. "If we need to use force then May will have things under control." 

The sceptic look on Charlie's face disappeared when they burst through the door locking Chan in and May singlehandedly took down the guards inside. They rushed over to where Chan was strapped down. 

"Are you okay?" Charlie asked him. He blinked at her. 

"Browne?" 

She smiled, "I'm here." 

The lab went into lockdown then and Charlie was pushed aside so Kwan could untie Chan while Coulson and May dealt with the Centipede scientists. Charlie was startled by Coulson grabbed her arm and pulling her behind him roughly. 

"What's... wrong?" she trailed off, seeing Kwan fall to the floor dead with a hole burned out of him. 

"Chan, what have you done?" Coulson asked. 

The pyrokinetic grinned, dropping the empty syringe he held. "I've set myself free." He threw his hands out and flames much bigger than Charlie remembered spurted from them towards her and Coulson.  

"What did he take?" Charlie demanded as Coulson dragged her behind a crate opposite May. 

"The serum, I think." He raised his voice as Chan cried out. "Mr Chan, I know you're in pain." 

"This?" The man smiled, his eyes crazy, and Charlie saw his arms were burnt very badly. She closed her eyes and bit her tongue. "This is nothing. You were the ones killing me, forcing me to keep this gift locked up inside." 

As May presumably tried talking him down in another language, Charlie breathed deeply and focused on her sight. Even with her eyes closed, she could feel how bright Chan was, how much potential he had, and it hurt her to know he was squandering it. She opened her eyes and saw May's soul for the first time, saw how damaged but fierce it was. She looked away, not wanting to invade the woman's privacy, only to catch a glimpse of Coulson's soul. 

She couldn't help it; she stared. 

It wasn't as bright as Chan's or any of the gifted individuals she'd met, but like May it had its own kind of brightness to it. She'd seen it once before, when she'd first met him, and had never looked again. She knew it to be welcoming and voracious and good – and it still was, except... 

There was a greyish hue to the light. 

She'd never seen a soul that was anything but variations of white-orange, like the sun. Fitz's soul was the brightest she'd ever seen, brighter even than her mother's which made her a little sad, but his still had no other colour mixed in, unlike Coulson's had. 

The thing that hit her most was that it was different. Never had she seen a soul change. She had personally theorised it might be possible, but not on such a large scale. She didn't understand what this meant.  

Her daze was interrupted by him sarcastically asking, "So we're good right?" Suddenly he pushed her towards May, following closely as flames covered the area they'd just been. 

While Chan shouted in pain, May turned to Charlie. "You never said anything about him being homicidal." 

"I didn't think that he was," she protested. 

"His file said he was kind of a tool," Coulson chimed in. 

Charlie shrugged. "Well yeah. Should I try calming him down then?" 

"You're up," Coulson nodded. 

Clearing her throat, Charlie kept her sight off to keep herself balanced. "Chan, I get that you want to show off your powers. I know keeping them hidden away all the time is hard. Really, I understand -" 

"Shut up!" Chan yelled. "You said my soul was bright, that I have potential! I'm only utilising it! This is what I'm meant to be!" 

"You do have potential, but this isn't how you achieve it, Chan! Hurting people will never be the answer!" she exclaimed. 

"So now my soul's ruined?" he asked mockingly. "You sure change your tune when you're on SHIELD's payroll." 

"That isn't what this is about," she argued. 

"Tell me then what my soul looks like! Because I am burning brighter than ever!" 

She sighed with resignation and shook her head at Coulson. The agent's lips tightened and he raised his voice, "Mr Chan, believe it or not, this can still get worse." 

"You bend someone long enough and they break. Poor little Chan Ho Yin may have believed your lies, but not Scorch." 

"Who?" May frowned. 

Coulson sighed. "Ah crap. They gave him a name." He pulled out a gun.  

"Do I have a name?" Charlie asked, bewildered. 

Neither agents responded. 

"Get me a clean look," Coulson told May. "I’ll make sure he wakes up in a SHIELD containment facility." 

May pursed her lips, "Waking is optional at this point." 

"What?" Charlie's eyes widened. She was ignored as the two went separate ways to Chan. 

Watching the pyrokinetic hold his own against them, she felt conflicted. She didn't want to hurt him, but she couldn't let May or Coulson get hurt either. Seeing May leap away from the flames Chan emitted in her direction, and knowing Coulson didn't stand a chance, she ground her teeth together and focused on Chan's soul. 

Slowly, she raised her hand and began clenching it into a fist. 

Chan yelped again and seemed weighed down, but otherwise fine. Knowing the serum was probably helping him resist her efforts in some way, she was reluctant in squeezing his soul tighter, not wanting to crush and extinguish it completely. In her hesitation, Chan fled from the room.  She let out the breath she'd been holding and stood from her hiding spot. 

"That tranquilizer was his last chance. You know that," May said to Coulson. 

He sighed. "I know. It’s time to minimize the damage." 

"No, he doesn't deserve to die!" Charlie insisted. 

"I'm afraid the serum in his system will combust regardless of whatever we do," Coulson explained. "Now it's just a case of timing." 

"Which we don't have a lot of," May added solemnly. 

"Unless we speed up the process."  

Charlie followed Coulson's gaze to the many bottles of serum and immediately protested, "You can't. Please, we can still help him." 

"He's destructive, Charlie! This whole thing has showed us that!" Seeing her breath catch, Coulson softened his voice. "I know you feel he's your responsibility, but he's a ticking time bomb and doesn't trust SHIELD enough to let us help him even if we could. We need to look at the bigger picture here. If he escapes, he could kill so many people in his anger."  

Her eyes grew wet, but after a few moments of silence, she nodded. 

The three of them tracked Chan down with ease as Charlie reluctantly led the way, using her sight to find his soul, and when Charlie heard the screaming and she saw the dimmer soul beside his die out, she closed her eyes and stopped. Coulson put a hand on her shoulder as he passed her. 


	4. Chapter 4

After the three of them met up with Ward and a woman called Skye, they all ran for the exit. Charlie stubbornly kept her sight on as fire burst from the roof, and she saw Chan's brightness simply disappear. She felt like it should have gone out with a bang, like he himself had, but the suddenness was shocking enough. She knew many other souls had been extinguished from that explosion too. 

She distantly listened to the Coulson and Ward discuss some data recovered. There was a beat of silence and then the latter said, "You can’t save someone from themselves, sir." 

Coulson's hand slipped onto her back as he said, "You can if you get to them early enough." 

Closing her eyes for a moment, Charlie turned to him. "I'd like to go home now please." Her voice was quiet. He looked at her regretfully and nodded. 

She didn't raise her gaze from the ground as she entered the Bus and went straight to the tiny room Coulson had shown her earlier. Once sat on the bunk bed, she broke down into tears. She felt so tired. 

She had dealt with dangerous situations before, had met gifted people who couldn't control their powers, or didn't want to, and she had seen death, but it never got any easier. Some days she hated her gift. Every time she thought about never using it again, or trying to get rid of it somehow, she heard her mother's voice saying how she could help people with it; she remembered how proud her mother was of her. Sometimes it helped. Today it didn’t. 

A knock came on her door and she wiped her face of tears, even knowing she couldn't hide the blotchiness. She cleared her throat. "Yeah?" 

"It's Fitz, um... I just wanted to know if you're all right." 

She blanched, scolding herself for being too distracted with crying to notice his soul getting closer. She stood and opened the door, almost hiding behind it. If it had been anyone else, she would have asked for them to leave, but Fitz's soul called to her in ways she'd never experienced. She was drawn to the brightness. 

He looked sheepish, his hand on the back of his neck. When she didn't say anything, he became more flustered. "Sorry. We don't really know each other, and my being here is probably weird, but Coulson said you were upset and Simmons thought I'd be the best person to help – not that I wanted to seem imposing. Feel free to send me away if this is too weird – it is too weird, isn’t it? I should go, sorry, I'll go -" 

"I'm Charlie," she said, smiling. 

He paused. "Um, yeah..." 

"I kinda messed up the first introduction, so I figured I'd start again." She made sure not to blush as she thought about how she'd just stared at him for ages. 

"Oh!" He looked surprise then smiled back adorably. "I'm Fitz." 

"You're a scientist, right?" 

He nodded enthusiastically. "Engineering." 

"And you don't believe in souls," she recounted. 

He flushed red. "Now, I didn't say that exactly..." 

"You just heavily implied it," she smiled cheekily, not at all offended.  

"Well it's just a little far-fetched." He quickly added, "But there's no way to observe or measure souls and spirits for us normal people, so it's entirely possible that they're real and it just interacts in a way we've never come across before or just don't understand. It's indeterminable." 

She watched him babble with something like endearment, finding it strange how fond she was of a person she'd barely met. "So, I'm abnormal?" 

"Sorry?" he backtracked quickly, confused. "No, no! That's not what I meant! I didn't mean it in a bad way!" 

"It's okay, Fitz," she tried to placate his nervousness. 

"You're not normal because you're extraordinary," he blurted. He went even redder. "I'm not trying to be creepy, I swear." 

A big smile overtook her. "I know, it's okay. I think you're quite extraordinary too." 

Still embarrassed, he shook his head. "What, me? No, I'm useless." 

"You're extraordinary," she said clearly. "Your soul is the brightest I've ever seen.  _You're_ _beautiful_ _._ " 

Fitz didn't know what to say. His hands moved restlessly as his blush only worsened and he was so perfect that she couldn't help herself. She hugged him. 

As soon as she made contact, something in her relaxed and she smiled again. He was stiff for a moment before his arms waved around behind her back, clearly unsure if he should touch her. Not wanting to make him too uncomfortable, she stepped back. 

"Never change," she told him. "Please." 

"Um, yeah, sure," he nodded quickly. 

Pressing her lips together, she tried not to let her amusement show. "I made things awkward again, didn't I?" 

"No, no, not at all!" He put a hand on her doorframe, clearly trying to look suave and failing when his hand missed and he almost fell. "I, um, I think you were wonderful today," he grinned. 

"I barely did anything." 

"You made sure Chan didn't hurt Coulson or May. I'd say that was a success." 

She shrugged. "They would have been fine without me." 

"Still, for your first time in the field, you remained calm and in control of your powers. That's impressive," he praised. "I understand it wasn't the easiest mission for you." 

She bowed her head. "If all missions are like that then I'd prefer staying out of the field." 

"We didn't want to kill Chan," he promised. "We never aim to harm others, no matter the person; we just want to protect everyone. SHIELD isn't the bad guy, I swear." 

"I know. It's just the way it had to go," she nodded sadly. 

"Well, if you do get sent out on missions again, it might be best if you learn some combat or or handling weapons. Even I had some rudimentary training," he said, purposefully nonchalant. "Not that I've gotten to use it yet of course," he pointed at her with a serious expression, "but when or if I have to, I'll be prepared."

Knowing he was trying to show off, she couldn't resist teasing him. "I thought you were a scientist." 

"Yes, but I'm also an agent, same as everyone else," he sounded defensive. Waving his arms around, he continued, "The point is, you can't rely on only your powers. You should make sure you can defend yourself if it's necessary, though obviously we'll pray that it isn't." 

Charlie watched him bumble through this explanation with a smile. "So, you're worried about me." 

"What? No!" He waved his hands again. "I mean, yes, but not more than I would be for anyone else!" 

She hummed in agreement as he blushed and then, trying not to smile too much, she inclined her head back towards to room. "I appreciate the advice but I think I'm gonna sleep. I'm exhausted." 

"Right! Of course, sorry, I shouldn't keep you." He turned to leave swiftly, only stopping when she called out to him. 

"Thank you, Fitz. I feel much better now." 

He gave her a thumbs up and nearly ran into a wall as he walked backwards. She laughed softly as he stuttered and fled from her view. 

* * *

When she stepped off the Bus, everyone said their goodbyes politely and filtered back to their designated areas, Fitz blushing as she smiled at him, leaving just her and Coulson. 

"I guess I'll see you around," he said. 

"Hopefully not with the same result," she sighed. 

He nodded. "Sorry for dragging you into it." 

"It's fine, I understand. I just wished things ended differently." 

"So do I." 

Walking away, she wasn't sure why she didn't tell Coulson about his soul. She thought he deserved to know, but then, if neither knew what it meant then how would it help anything? She resolved to look further into it and tell him once she had some answers. Plus, she needed a reason to see Fitz again. She grinned to herself. 


	5. Chapter 5

She hadn't called in any new gifted for a while, both because she hadn't met any and she just didn't want to. She needed the distance, the time to recuperate and focus on her powers. For so long, she'd thought her gift was just sight – then she held a soul like it was in the palm of her hand, and she'd squeezed. It had been an overwhelming experience; to know she could hurt people so easily. She'd hidden away from looking further into her own potential, fearing it would only get worse, and had instead looked to others' potential, purposefully searching for gifted with her sight. 

But now she had seen a new aspect of her abilities. 

Coulson's greyish soul was worrying. It meant something, clearly, but she wasn't sure what. She knew she couldn't determine intent or thoughts simply by seeing someone's soul, it just didn't work that way. So what did a difference in colour mean? 

Unsure how to go about finding answers, she took the time to really explore what her gift could do. She'd become quite good at tracking, though it was harder with dimmer souls, and she could cause people pain, even make them unconscious, but there had to be more. 

She experimented by watching a variety of strangers, each clearly exhibiting different emotions, but there was no discernible difference in their souls. She tried to gently grasp someone's soul and physically move them, but the unknowing volunteer only seemed a bit perturbed. She found married couples, dating couples, cheating couples and tried to see if their souls connected in some way, but they did not. (This last hypothesis was a stretch, she knew, but she was growing desperate and the idea of soulmates was nice.) 

It was unfortunately more drastic measures that gained her any insight. And it almost broke her. 

Living a normal life wasn't too hard, she'd found. She went to great lengths to fade into the background and not draw any attention to herself, but otherwise she slept and ate and spent her day like any of her neighbours. Her flat wasn't very fancy; she had only inheritance money left, so she'd found what she could. She got a job at a shop and it wasn't fun but it paid her rent. 

She was working a late shift. It was a Thursday. London was never quiet, but this area wasn't the busiest, especially on weekdays, so she anticipated another boring night. Her only salvation was that she wasn't put on tills, which meant she was in the back when she heard shouting. 

Instantly alert, she crept towards the door, peering through the little window. Kelly was behind the kiosk, her arms held up defensively and she was crying as two men shouted at her to give them money. "Bollocks," Charlie whispered. A gleam of silver caught her eye as she slowly and quietly opened the door. The men were holding knives. 

Edging her way behind a shelf with a clear enough view of the men, she carefully grasped their souls. They were pitiful things, barely brighter than a lightbulb, and she wondered what had happened to them in life that had broken them so hard. Concentrating, she started to squeeze. She'd never done this with more than one soul before and it made sweat gather on her brow, but she persevered. 

One of the men started shuddering and the other turned to him in question, both too distracted to see Kelly shuffle away a little. With her coworker at a safer distance from the knives, Charlie squeezed harder very abruptly, hoping to knock them out, or at least daze them enough that she and Kelly could get away. 

But her focus slipped and she lost hold of the pressure she was exerting on one of the men. The other fell to the floor in a slump and she released, gasping loud enough that the released men whirled on her. 

"What did you do?" he hissed, but then Kelly was pulling out her mobile and calling the police and he turned to her instead. 

Charlie forced herself to straight from her slightly hunched position and took his soul in her hand firmly. She barely had a moment to think as he went to slash at Kelly with the knife. Charlie squeezed, harder than she ever had before, and Kelly screamed as she hastily backed away from him. 

The man started to cough, blood dripping from his mouth, and suddenly seeing what she was doing, Charlie tried to draw back her power, pulling her hand towards herself. But the man refused to stop, stabbing Kelly in the arm, and so Charlie forgot to release her grip on him. 

There was a release of pressure very quickly and she almost fell as the man keeled over. A ball of light, his soul, she realised with horror, floated towards Charlie innocently. Frozen, she watched and felt it absorb into her torso, disappearing from view. 

She had no time to comprehend what she'd done. Kelly was sobbing as blood dripped down her arm and Charlie ran to her, passing the dead man on the floor. 

"It's okay, it's okay," she soothed as she took Kelly's phone. "I'll call an ambulance, you'll be okay." 

As the dial tone sounded, Kelly shook her head, tears streaming down her face. "How did you do that? What did you even do?" 

Charlie glanced at her. Shakily, she replied, "I'm not sure." 

* * *

Jacob Lawrence. That was the man she'd killed.  

The ambulance arrived before the police. Charlie handed Kelly over to them and disappeared when nobody was looking. The shop's CCTV hadn't been working properly for days so the only footage anyone had was of Charlie entering and leaving the store. It wouldn't be enough for the police to convict her of anything, and if Kelly said something then they'd think her delusional, but still, Charlie didn't want to be around when the police turned up. 

The incident was on the news the next day. She'd already handed her notice in that morning. Her manager wasn't surprised.  

She sat on her settee and stared at the picture of Jacob Lawrence. He was average really. 

And she'd killed him. 

She knew it was only a matter of time before SHIELD came around. Eventually there was a knock on her door and an agent stood outside. He was stern though polite, told her they understood it to be self-defence but that the discovery of this new aspect to her gift had raised her threat level. They would be watching her more closely, he said, and then he went to leave. 

"That's it?" she commented, her voice low and bitter. 

The agent looked at her. 

"I killed a man and all I get is a slap on the wrist?" she snapped, frustrated. 

"Apparently someone high up believes in you," he said blankly and shut the door behind him. 

Breathing hard, she collapsed on her sofa and cried. 

"Oh my god." She gripped her hair and tugged on it restlessly. Sobbing, she curled up on the settee, feeling more alone than ever. She shakily put a hand to her chest. She had  _eaten_ his soul. She was a monster. And what was worse; it had felt  _good_ when his soul became hers. 

This was it, she realised, clenching her eyes shut. This was why she was so drawn to bright souls, why she had this gift. She was made to kill people and steal their souls for herself. 

"I'm sorry, Mum," she murmured, her lips quivering. She rocked back and forth. "I'm so sorry." 

The police found their way to her too apparently. SHIELD called off their investigation but she decided to move regardless. Her neighbours had been giving her strange looks and she wondered if rumours about what had happened were spreading. 

She found another flat, another job. Her life continued in a blur, guilt weighing her down. She didn't look for anymore gifted; forced herself to walk away when she stumbled upon them. She ignored her gifts, ignored the existence of SHIELD. 

And then Hydra showed itself. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all I've got for now, but I hope you like it :)

She got on the first plane she could to New York. She wasn't entirely sure where she was going, but she figured that would be a good place to start. She was trying to follow Fitz's soul. As the brightest, he was the easiest to find, but she still couldn't track anyone across countries. She needed to find him; him and Coulson and the rest of the team. She'd tried to call Coulson, but he'd never picked up. 

There was no way they were Hydra, she refused to believe it, which meant they needed help. 

Once she landed in New York, she rented a car and drove as fast as legally possible towards Fitz. She didn't think this would be the reason she'd see him again, she admitted. She just hoped he'd be okay until she got there. And if he wasn't... 

Her fingers tightened on the steering wheel. 

It took her hours and she wasn't really sure where she was. She'd kind of ignored all road signs, just using her gift to point her in the right direction. In the end, she came to a secure building and tried to park an inconspicuous distance away from it. 

She crept towards the gates where security was patrolling. Hiding herself from their view, she carefully but quickly knocked each of them out, one at a time just to be safe. The guards were panicking and yelling into their comms, but she didn't know how else to dispatch of them. She needed to get inside that building and she had no idea if it was being controlled by Hydra right now. 

When they were all unconscious, she ran for the gates, slipping inside and hiding round the side of a truck. She could see a hanger bay filled with different aircrafts not too far from her; her sight told her Fitz was in that direction. While a group (smaller than she'd imagined) of agents came to check on the guards, she scuttled around the vehicles and towards the planes. 

She knew she was getting closer to Fitz, but then she saw the Bus and it was damaged. Her heart dropped. She zigzagged her way there, avoiding all the people milling about with their separate tasks, and just as she came to the side of the Bus, she heard Fitz screaming girlishly, "Turn it off!" 

She jumped and ran to the ramp, only to see Fitz scowling at Simmons and another man, muttering, "You need to shush. Shush, both of you, hmm? Honestly, ganging up on me." 

She just stood there, her heart trying to regain its normal rhythm. 

He was okay. 

He was alive. 

He started to wander off further into the plane. "Think you're so smart? Well, why don't you try to fix it?" 

Simmons caught sight of her then and blinked. "Charlie?" 

Fitz spun round. "What? Charlie?" Seeing her, he blushed, "Charlie!" 

She coughed. "Guess you guys didn't need a rescue after all?" 

"A rescue?" Simmons shook her head.  

"I heard about Hydra. It's all over the news." Charlie shifted on her feet, feeling very silly now. "I thought you lot might be in trouble." 

"How did you find us?" Fitz asked. 

She pursed her lips. "I tracked down your soul." 

While Fitz stuttered, the other man with them stepped in. "I'm sorry, who are you?" 

She went to introduce herself when a voice came from behind her. "Put your hands up! You are breaching a private facility!" 

Simmons startled. "Oh, no, there's been a misunderstanding. This is our friend." 

Charlie appreciated that comment, knowing she'd hardly spoken to the scientist. The agent behind her wasn't impressed, even as Charlie raised her hands compliantly. 

"Yeah? Well your friend took out three guards." 

"They're just unconscious!" she argued, seeing Fitz's mouth drop. "I didn't hurt them!" 

"Call Coulson down here," Simmons told the agent. "He'll sort this all out in a jiffy." 

"No need," came Coulson's voice. "Lower your weapons, you're dismissed." 

Charlie turned and saw Coulson and May looking at her. The other agent saluted and left after throwing her a nasty look. She put her arms down and smiled. "Good to see you're alive." 

"Do I need to ask if you're Hydra?" he replied, his face hard. 

"Really? I came here to help you guys! I thought you might be dead!" She clenched her jaw. "Why didn't you answer your phone? I called you!" 

"We were a little busy." He nodded to May, who did the same and walked off. Smiling, he came up to greet Charlie properly. "I'm sorry. Everyone's a little tetchy." 

"No kidding. I wasn't sure if this place was Hydra." She winced, "Sorry about the guards." 

"They'll be fine. I thought it was you when I heard they weren't dead. Glad to see I was right." He touched her back gently. "I need to get back to Control. We'll talk later." In a quieter voice, he said, "I heard about the attempted robbery." 

She stiffened. 

Giving her a sad smile, he left the plane. 

"So," the mystery man spoke up, "Charlie, right?" 

Fitz shot him a look. 

"Charlie Browne," she smiled weakly. 

"Antoine Triplett. Just call me Trip," he said charmingly. "What was that about souls?" 

"Uh..." 

"Simmons can explain," Fitz remarked quickly. "Right, Simmons?" 

The other scientist raised her brows and then nodded. "Sure, yes of course." 

Fitz took Charlie's arm and pulled her away, heading towards the same room she'd first met him in. When they came to it, her eyes widened as they roved over the cracked bullet hole-ridden glass. 

"Jesus." Her concern reestablished, she ran her gaze over him, checking for injury. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," he nodded, hands on his hips. "So you came here to help?" 

"I guessed you guys would be in the middle of everything and, clearly," she motioned to the nearly shattered glass, "I wasn't wrong." 

"Yeah, well. Things have been pretty hard." He looked down. 

Concerned, she stepped toward him. "Hey, what's up? What happened? I take it, it's not just the emergence of Hydra." 

He bit his lip as it quivered. "We were, um... Me, Coulson and May found out that Ward's old SO, Garrett, was Hydra and... and Garrett ordered sleeper agents to kill May and Coulson, but he said he had other uses for me... told them to shoot my kneecaps out instead." 

"Oh, Fitz," she put a hand on his shoulder. He shrugged, ignoring the panic that was welling up in his eyes. She sighed and pulled him into a hug. Unlike the first time, his arms wrapped round her instantly, his head buried in her neck. "But you're okay, right?" she checked again, speaking into his hair. 

He pulled away, a small smile on his face. "Yeah. I'm okay." 

"What happened to Garrett?" 

"He's being put away in the Fridge. Ward's flying him there now." 

"How's Ward doing with all this?" 

"Not good," he admitted. "The whole team is still kind of shocked, but Ward's obviously taking it the hardest." 

"Understandable."  

After a few moments of silence, he rubbed the back of his neck. "So you found us using my soul as a guide?" 

"Yeah, I've been trying to hone my powers but I..." she faltered, not wanting to tell Fitz, bright beautiful Fitz, that she'd killed someone with her so-called gift. "I needed a break – from all of this, so I kept myself pretty quiet for a while." 

"Well," he smiled hesitantly, "it's nice to know someone can find me in case I ever get lost." 

She smiled back.  

She wanted to kiss him, she realised. She wasn't sure it was the best time, and she really didn't think Fitz was ready for that, but her mother had taught her to be unapologetic with her affection. Debating momentarily, she only grabbed his hand. He looked at her with startled wide eyes. 

"I'm glad you're safe," she told him softly, sincerely. 

He swallowed and stammered. "Me too. I mean, I'm glad you're safe, not that I'm safe. Not that I'm not glad to be safe of course –" 

"Fitz," she interrupted. 

"Yes?" 

"Take a breath." 

"Right," he nodded, staring at his hand in hers. 

Simmons came into the room then and, surprised, Charlie let go of him. The other scientist observed them both with a grin. "Coulson says we need to get a move on with the repairs." 

Charlie smiled. "Can I watch? Promise not to be a nuisance." 

While Fitz stared at her with a red face, Simmons smiled back. "Of course! An extra hand is never bad." The women left the room, leaving Fitz to blink rapidly after them before hurrying to catch up. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to name the chapters, but I'm not really sure what. Also, the rating might change at some point. (Probably not soon though!)

It only took another day for the Bus to be operational. Charlie had helped out wherever she could, listening patiently as Fitz explained all the tech with increasingly bigger words. She didn't understand half of what he said, but she enjoyed watching him speak with confidence and passion. 

Simmons had been giving her sly looks and smirks, pushing the two of them together as much as she could. Charlie was sure this was only partly selfless; she'd seen the way Simmons had been eyeing up Trip and the man seemed to reciprocate. 

The second everything was working, Coulson and May were walking up the ramp. While May left for the cockpit, Fitz and Charlie watched from inside the lab as Simmons argued on Trip's behalf to Coulson. They all came to an agreement and Coulson stopped in the lab briefly to talk to Charlie. 

"So, you're staying with us then?" he smiled. 

"Unless you'd rather I leave," she offered. Fitz's hand shot out under the lab table to hold her hand. 

Coulson shook his head good-naturedly. "I think I'm not the only one that would like you to stay." 

Fitz blushed but went back to what he was working on. Charlie smiled shamelessly at Coulson. "So, anything you want me to do? I don't exactly have an actual role here." 

"For now, just prepare for take-off. We need to leave before Talbot gets here. If Fitzsimmons need anything, give them a hand." 

"Already on it," she remarked. 

She left Fitz to sort out some more engineering work and helped Simmons with stock-taking. They concluded they had limited food rations and reported as much to Coulson when he stopped by a few hours later. 

"Do we know where we're going?" she asked Simmons, once he'd left. 

The scientist shook her head. "No, and we can't keep flying blind for too long. Talbot's bound to catch up with us at some point." 

It was some time later that Skye popped in. Charlie hadn't spoken to her much but she seemed nice enough. She looked uncomfortable as she approached Simmons. 

"Uh, Coulson had me wipe everyone on the Bus off the system, so we're technically nobodies now. And uh, Simmons, he asked me to collect everyone's badge." Skye winced. 

Simmons teared up. "What? But I'm a SHIELD agent. It belongs to me." 

"I know. Really, I'm sorry, but it's dangerous to be a part of SHIELD right now." 

Charlie rubbed Simmons back as she cleared her throat and handed over her badge. Skye backed away apologetically. 

"Skye," Charlie spoke up, "does this mean I'm not on the Index either?" 

"I'm afraid I couldn't get rid of that, sorry. I did scrub your personal data from it though, so your entry only states your powers and gender." 

Charlie nodded. Skye sent Simmons a look of commiseration and left as the scientist dried her eyes. 

Trying to cheer her up, Charlie joked, "Guess I'm stuck with you lot now. No name and all." 

"Welcome to the team," Simmons put on a brave face and smiled.  

* * *

Coulson came to them all with a crazy theory that Director Fury, who was meant to be dead, had sent him coordinates. Trip and May weren't convinced, but Fitz and Simmons wanted to believe it enough that they didn't question too much. Skye stood with Charlie, both of them sceptic but unwilling to argue. They at least had a heading now. 

It didn't take long for Trip to break down Simmons' optimism with hard questions. Fitz, however, refused to abandon Coulson, no matter the harebrained plans he came up with. Charlie tried to stay out of it all; this wasn't really her team, regardless of the situation. 

After they'd all bundled themselves up and were traipsing about through the wilderness for hours, everyone was starting to lose hope. Charlie wanted to hold Fitz's hand, but the gloves they wore made it too difficult so she merely stuck close to him. When they found the location of the coordinates and nothing was there, she closed her eyes and huddled into his back. 

Everyone grew understandably upset at learning there was no more fuel for the Bus. 

"It was the right play," Coulson defended. "Fury sent us these coordinates for a reason." 

"And what reason is that?" asked May, defeated. 

"I don’t know, May!" he shouted. "I don’t know! There’s got to be something here!" 

In desperation, he turned to Charlie, his voice still snappish. "Charlie, you can sense people. Is there anyone close-by?" 

Feeling her shake against him, Fitz glared. "The radar shows nothing, sir. There's no one here." 

"Yes, but she sees people where technology can't!" Coulson yelled. "At least try," he ordered her. 

She just shook her head. 

He looked at his badge and then pointed at May. "This means something! This has to mean something! The world needs us! Hydra is out there! We cannot let them win. We, we cannot let them define us. Do you understand that?" 

No one said anything. 

"We are not agents of nothing! We are agents of SHIELD, and that still carries weight! It, it has to carry weight! After everything we’ve been through, that carries weight!" 

It took a minute but he seemed to realise what he was saying, how he was saying it. He sighed and apologised and then with a burst of anger, he threw his badge.  

Instantly, a turret appeared and shot at it before proceeding to set its sights on all of them. 

They dove for cover, Charlie falling down beside Fitz and Skye behind a larger rock. "Now what?" she grumbled. 

"Nobody move!" May told them. 

"I really don't think that's going to be a problem!" Simmons responded. 

But when Coulson stood and identified himself, the turret welcomed him and a piece of mountain nearby slid aside to reveal a corridor. Everyone exchanged looks, bewildered. 

A man who introduced himself as Eric Koenig greeted them and confirmed Fury's death. Seconds later, he said that the Fridge had been taken and Skye rushed to call Ward, who luckily answered. Charlie tried not to be paranoid, but she was sure Koenig kept glancing at her.  

"Can I talk to you in private?" he said to Coulson. The two went into another room and Koenig definitely looked back at her before leaving. 

Charlie bit her tongue. 

"What's wrong?" Fitz asked, seeing the worry on her face. 

"Just a feeling," she lied. Guilt slashed through her. 

It wasn't long before Coulson appeared. He beckoned her over and led her down the hall. 

"What's up?" 

"Koenig is insisting on a security check," Coulson explained, sympathetic.  

"Just on me?" she frowned. 

"You're on the Index. He recognised you." Coulson sighed. "He's worried Hydra might have done something to you." 

"Like what?" she exclaimed. 

"I'm not sure," he admitted. 

Koenig looked up as they entered the room. He was standing beside a large scanner. 

"Great, you're here," he said. "Please lay on the table." 

"What are you looking for?" Charlie protested. 

"If I'm wrong, then nothing." 

"And if you're right?" she wondered. 

Koenig only gestured at the table. She glanced at Coulson who nodded reluctantly. Sighing, she laid down. 

"Please stay still while I scan you for any inorganic material," Koenig told her. 

"What?" Her eyes widened. 

"Stay still," he repeated firmly. 

She tried to relax, trusting Coulson to do something if this went sideways. She could hear him muttering to Koenig but couldn't make out what they were saying. It was nearly five minutes later that Koenig stopped the machine. 

Charlie warily rose. The expressions on his and Coulson's faces were solemn. 

"What?" she asked shakily. "You found something, didn’t you? What is it?" 

Koenig looked at Coulson. "You know what needs to be done."  

"What does that mean?" she demanded as Koenig left the room. 

Coulson was very still. Faintly, he said, "You have a tracker in you." 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me a while to figure out the backstory for Charlie, but I think I have an idea. Big thanks to [bansheehime](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bansheehime/pseuds/bansheehime) for the advice :)

"A tracker?" Charlie said faintly. 

"It's broadcasting your location to an unknown source. This place is off the grid but I'm not sure that's gonna matter." 

"Where is it?" 

"I'm sorry?" 

She gritted her teeth. "Where's the tracker?" 

"It's in your left arm." 

"How long has it been there?" 

Coulson paused, watching her. "I couldn't say." 

"Well can you get it out?" She cleared her throat. 

"I don't know. We've come across individuals with tech put inside their bodies unwillingly; some of them had kill switches. I don't want to take that chance with you. We don't know anything about the tracker or who really put it there." 

Her fists clenched. "Someone opened me up and put something inside my body without my consent or knowledge, and you know nothing about it?" 

"I'm not sure what you're implying," he replied wryly. 

"I thought I was safe. I thought SHIELD were supposed to look after people like me." 

"Charlie, we just found out SHIELD's been infiltrated by Hydra. We haven't exactly been up to scratch." 

"No, but  _you're_ not Hydra.  _You_ were meant to look after me. You're the one who got me involved; you're the reason I'm here. And  _you know nothing_?" Her voice grew louder, her breath shakier. 

Coulson's face dropped and guilt clouded it. He opened his mouth but said nothing, helpless. 

A tear dribbled down her cheek. "Why don't I remember it being put in?" 

"Whoever did it probably wiped your memory of the whole event; stop you from getting suspicious. Are there any noticeable gaps in your memory?" 

She shook her head silently. 

Coulson sighed. "I'm sorry. You're right. You're my responsibility. We'll fix this, I promise." 

"How? You said it yourself: I'm transmitting our location right now. I'm putting you all in danger." Her voice wobbled and she stopped. "If you can't get this  _thing_ out of me then I need to leave." 

"Charlie -" 

Bickering cut them off and they both looked to the door as it opened. 

"I don't care if it's bloody restricted," Fitz was exclaiming as Koenig followed behind him grumpily. "Charlie, Coulson! This philistine isn't telling us anything and tried to refuse me entry when I left to find you." He threw his hands up in the air. "What's going on?" His brows furrowed, "Charlie? What's wrong? Sir?" 

"You're not allowed in here without a lanyard," Koenig cut in. 

Coulson held up a hand. "There's been a complication, Fitz, but it's fine, we'll figure it out." 

When Fitz looked to her for answers, she only shook her head, unable to speak. "Why do I feel like it's more than a 'complication'?" 

"I have to leave," she blurted out. 

"What? That's utter rubbish." Outraged, Fitz pointed a finger at Koenig. "Did he tell you that? Well he can shove it up his windpipe, you're not going anywhere." 

"No, Fitz," she pushed his arm down gently. "Someone put a tracker in me. I'm compromising the team." 

"What?" He stared at her and then shook his head adamantly. "Well we'll work it out together then. You're part of the team, Charlie. We stick together." 

Tears wobbled in her eyes again and she nodded, ignoring Coulson and Koenig as she took the hand that Fitz held out. He led her away from the other two, back down the corridor. They could hear the two agents talking. Fitz gripped her hand tighter.  

"You're not going anywhere," he whispered, reassuringly. 

She didn't reply. 

* * *

In the time it took for Koenig to ease up on area restrictions (if only a little) and for Ward to finally arrive, Fitz had had many hushed and not so hushed discussions with Coulson about the tracker. 

"But we don't actually know if it is transmitting! If none of our tech could sense this place then why would it be able to penetrate through the safety measures without actively weakening them first? Koenig hasn't reported any security breaches!" 

"I know what you're saying, Fitz, and I get it! I don't want Charlie to leave either! It's not safe out there for anyone, let alone gifted! But we're running out of options here and Charlie doesn't want to stay if it means we're in danger!" 

"Then I'll take the ruddy thing out myself! Simmons and I can surely bypass any countermeasures! This is hardly Centipede level of enhancements!" 

Charlie could hear them arguing; it was hard to escape it. The others were confused and asked questions until it became obvious from the loud conversations what was going on. Simmons spent some time sitting beside her and holding her hand silently. 

The fighting was put on pause as everyone welcomed Ward to the base. Almost immediately, he was made to sit before Simmons while she treated his wounds. The team bombarded him with questions while Charlie stood off to the side, out of everyone's way. Ward had looked at her strangely when he saw her; she wondered if her shame was that obvious. Knowing she was just causing problems, she kept her distance. 

Upon finding out all the prisoners from the Fridge had escaped, her back stiffened. She had helped put a couple of those individuals there herself, or at least, her recommendations and reports had persuaded SHIELD that the gifted (or enhanced) person was entirely too unstable for regular society. 

As Coulson started giving orders, Charlie slipped out of the room.

She wanted to help with the inmates breaking out, but her head kept telling her to leave. She had grown fond of the team, surprisingly so for how long she’d known them. Coulson had always been her main link to SHIELD and now that Hydra had appeared, he was the only leading agent she trusted. His team were exceptional and they had wormed their way into her affections without much fuss. They didn’t deserve any trouble she may be bringing them. 

But as she was walking down the hallway, a hand slipped into hers. She turned, already knowing who it was. Fitz smiled, almost nervously, and said, “Let’s have a closer look at that tracker, yeah?” 

Swallowing, she nodded. He wouldn’t take no for an answer, she knew. He wanted to help her. 

She followed him to a private room where he had set up some machinery. She sat on the bench and waited while he fiddled with gadgets. 

“I scavenged some tech from the areas I was allowed in,” he made a face and she smiled. His distaste for Koenig’s restrictions hadn’t budged yet. “I’ve put together a more intricate scanner. It’s highly sensitive and should give me a good look at the kind of technology we’re working with here. Coulson said the readings were unclear before, so it’s best we’re certain.” 

As he picked up the handheld scanner, Charlie touched his arm gently. “Thank you for doing this.” 

“Can’t have you getting all self-sacrificing on me,” he said lightly. 

He did a slow scan of her entire body, leaving the arm with the tracker till last, just to be sure nothing had been missed. When the tracker came up on the scans, he paused, double-checking the readings on his laptop. 

“This is strange,” he frowned. “I’ve never seen tech like this. It’s definitely a tracker, but the frequency it’s emitting is impossible to decipher. And the signal strength... It reaches far beyond necessity.” 

She gripped the bench beneath her tightly. “What does that mean?” 

“It’s, well, the vibrations of sound are too immense for what the body allows, yet somehow this device has managed to contain it in such a way that it still broadcasts the frequency to truly astounding distances without you feeling a thing.” 

“So it is broadcasting my location?” she checked. 

He began to answer but stopped himself, turning away from his laptop to face her properly. “Charlie, don’t overthink it. This tracker is nothing like what SHIELD has, so it stands to reason that it has nothing to do with Hydra. We have no idea who it belongs to, but by the looks of it, you’ve probably had this thing for years and it’s done nothing.” 

“We can’t know exactly what technology Hydra has,” she disagreed. “And even if it isn’t Hydra, it’s still giving _someone_ my location, which means you guys aren’t safe while I’m here.” 

“We need to stay together! Ward got hurt when he went on his own; splitting up the team never ends well,” he pleaded. 

“Fitz, I'm not part of the team.” 

“Of course you are, don’t be stupid –” 

“I shouldn’t even be here,” she interrupted. “I’m just putting everyone in danger.” She softened her voice and took his hand. “I need you to be safe.” 

His shoulders slumped. “Please don’t leave.” 

Blinking back a stray tear, she squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry.” 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a struggle to write. I actually wrote chapter 10 before this one, so I can upload that as soon as it's edited.

Everyone was rounded up and brought to a solitary room that held only a chair with wires leading to a tabletop monitor. No one had been told anything, but one look at the screens and Charlie knew it was some kind of scanner, very different to the one Fitz had made. This one clearly was meant to read many different physiological responses. 

“A lie detector,” Coulson stated and the confirmation made her shoulders ease a little. She had nothing to hide. 

The fact that Koenig hadn’t implicitly said what the consequences would be if anyone failed the test did concern her, but she waited for her turn without protest. But the test wasn’t too hard, she found. 

“Full name please,” Koenig started. 

“Charlotte Amelia Browne.”  

“Your eye colour.” 

“Blue.” Like the heavens, her mother used to say. Charlie never really understood that. 

“And have you ever been married?” 

“No.” 

“List your immediate family.” 

Her lips grew thin. “I don’t have any.” 

Koenig looked up at her, his eyes narrowed. “What about your dad?” 

“He’s locked away in some nameless cell. I’m over it.” 

“So you haven’t had any contact with him?” 

“Not since I was born and he hightailed it.” 

Though her voice was a little irritated, Koenig seemed satisfied and moved on. 

“What is the difference between an egg and a rock?” 

“The egg might have a soul,” she pondered. 

Koenig’s face tightened but he didn’t press her. 

“Have you ever heard of Project Insight?” 

“No.” 

“Have you ever had contact with Alexander Pierce?” 

“Never heard of him, so no.” 

“You wash up on a deserted island alone. Sitting on the sand is a box. What is in that box?” 

“Um… a book?” 

“SHIELD no longer exists. The agency has been labeled a terrorist organization. So, why are you here?” 

She paused. “Because I needed to make sure everyone was okay.” 

Koenig glanced up at her pointedly. 

She sighed. “I needed to make sure  _Fitz_  was okay. Happy?” 

“Inordinately.” He stepped away from the machines. “Congratulations. I’ll get your lanyard. Although,” he lowered his voice, “we both know what needs to happen.”  

Charlie simply nodded. As she left the room, she passed Skye who gave her a high-five for her lanyard.  

* * *

“Marcus Daniels was an assistant at a physics lab where they were trying to harness the electrical power of something called Darkforce,” Coulson told the rest of them while Skye and Ward were still getting their lanyards. Charlie fiddled with hers. “And nothing bad ever happens when you work with something called ‘Darkforce’.” 

Trip took the gun handed to him and Fitz looked up. “It’s a form of cosmic radiation,” he explained to Trip and Charlie, “pure negative energy. Unstable but powerful.” When Trip smirked, Fitz sighed. “You knew that already, didn’t you?” 

“I didn’t,” Charlie shrugged, smiling at Fitz when he turned to beam at her.   
   
“Daniels was exposed,” Coulson continued, “ended up being able to absorb energy, all types.”    
   
“Well,” Simmons thought out loud, “the human brain, the heart, run on electrical impulses.”   
   
“Exactly. He can kill with one touch.” 

Listening to that, Charlie couldn’t help but think about Jacob Lawrence. She hadn’t even needed one touch and she had killed him all the same. She looked down at her feet.   
   
“And I’m guessing he likes to,” Trip said, holstering the gun. “Do we need to put a bullet in him?”   
   
“Unfortunately, it’s not that simple,” Coulson sighed. “He can absorb the energy of most conventional weapons.” 

“He sounds unstoppable,” Simmons remarked.    
   
“Like Fitz said, his power is unstable. Last time, we managed to capture him by overloading his system with pure light.” 

Fitz nodded along with Coulson's words, following the logic easily. “Exposing him to more energy than he could absorb at once. I’m sure we could engineer some sort of delivery mechanism en route.” 

“That’s what I was hoping you were gonna say,” Coulson smiled. He turned to Trip, “You mind flying, being the specialist on mission?” 

“Sir, I’ll be whatever you want me to be,” the agent returned. 

Coulson nodded, “That’s what I was hoping  _you_ were gonna say.” 

* * *

“How can you be sure he’s going to Portland?” Simmons asked Coulson as they all sat inside a plane much smaller than the Bus. Skye, Ward and May had all stayed behind at Providence.   
   
“Daniels was obsessed with a woman there. He called her his only light in the darkness.”  

“That’s almost romantic!” she exclaimed. At the look Fitz shot her, she defended, “Almost.” 

Charlie smiled to herself. 

“The man’s been locked up in the Fridge for years," Fitz frowned. “He must be over her by now.”  

Coulson’s face was introspective. “Some people are hard to get over. Besides, Daniels is pathologically insane, single-minded, obsessive. His powers not only robbed him of a normal life, they also pretty much fried his brain.” 

“What about the woman?” asked Fitz.    
   
“Audrey Nathan. She’s how we tracked him the first time. We find Ms Nathan, we find Daniels.” 

“And what am I meant to do again?” Charlie inquired from beside Coulson. He glanced at her. 

“His powers are strong. We’re not entirely sure how they work, but I’m hoping that if things go sideways, you’ll be able to pacify him long enough for us to take him in.” 

“I don’t like this plan,” Fitz announced, not for the first time. 

“We know,” Simmons said, her tone highly amused. She was of the opinion that Fitz handled Charlie like she was made of glass.  

As Fitz turned to bicker with her like siblings, Coulson said quietly to Charlie, “You sure you’re all right to do this? I know you haven’t used your powers much since...” 

Charlie looked down. “I’ll be fine. I won’t compromise the mission.” 

“That’s not what I meant.” 

She returned his gaze only briefly. “I'll be fine.” 

* * *

Once Trip had Audrey safely in the first car with him, Simmons drove the second car past them and stopped just before Daniels. Quickly, Coulson and Fitz got out as the scientist’s drones shone bright beams of light at Daniels. Charlie left the car just behind Fitz, watching him control the drones on his tablet as Coulson pointed a torch at the squinting man.   
   
“Mr Daniels,” he started, his voice stern, “we don’t want to hurt you. We need to take you in, for your safety and the safety of others.”   
   
“It was you!” Daniels pointed at Coulson. “You took me there!”    
   
After a look from Coulson, Fitz turned up the brightness on the drones’ lights, making Daniels step back and use his hands to shield his eyes again. Charlie almost felt bad for him, but shook the urge off, readying herself to use her gifts if she absolutely had to. Eventually the man had recovered enough to look at Coulson angrily.   
   
“They did things to me there!”   
   
“They were trying to contain you,” Coulson said, not the least bit apologetic.    
   
“No! They were trying to make me stronger.” Daniels grinned. “And they did.”   
   
He sent waves of Darkmatter at Coulson and Fitz, causing the tablet to drop and the drones to become inactive. 

While Fitz and Coulson fell, Charlie saw a mass of grey energy shooting towards her. She tried to dodge out of the way, but it hit her with enough force to knock her down. She slumped to the ground, her eyes losing focus as her very being rebelled against the Darkmatter. 

“Here’s where we’d normally call for reinforcements,” Coulson groaned as he and Fitz got back to their feet. 

“Where’s he go?” Fitz asked, noticing Daniels had vanished. As he searched the surroundings, he saw a figure on the pavement. “Charlie! Simmons, Charlie’s hurt!” 

Simmons knelt beside the prone form and checked her over. Fitz sat beside her, holding onto one of Charlie’s hands.  

“What’s wrong with her?” Coulson asked. 

Simmons looked up, her face grim. “She appears to be in a coma.” 


	10. Chapter 10

“We’ll take her with us,” Coulson decided. “Simmons can take a closer look once we have Ms Nathan somewhere safe. We’re too out in the open here to do anything right now.”

“But, sir, I have no way of measuring her vitals,” Jemma explained. “Without the proper equipment, I can’t tell how the Darkforce reacted with her powers. Her condition could decline without notice!”

“We can’t just leave her,” Fitz was aghast. 

“I’m not saying we should,” she defended. “The point is, I don’t have the right tools and returning to Providence would take too long!”

“Not to mention, we need to watch over Ms Nathan,” Coulson intercepted. “As long as Daniels is free, she isn’t safe.”

“But, sir!” Fitz argued.

“We can’t abort the mission.” Coulson was quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry, Fitz. The best we can do is admit her to a nearby hospital and have one of us stay with her.”

“I’ll do it,” Fitz said immediately. 

“No, I need you to make something to stop Daniels. We need a device to counteract his power somehow. Simmons, you go with Charlie.”

Jemma nodded, patting Fitz on the shoulder consolingly.

“But what if something happens? What if whoever the tracker belongs to comes for her?” Fitz threw up his arms.

“It’ll be fine. You said it yourself, it’s unlikely that whoever put that tracker there is suddenly going to decide to show themselves. And if anything does happen, Simmons can contact us.” When Fitz didn’t look convinced, Coulson sighed. “It’ll only be for several hours.  I don’t want Daniels walking around any longer than that.”

While Coulson carried Charlie to the second car, Jemma put a hand on Fitz’s arm. “I’ll look after her, Fitz. I promise.”

* * *

The hospital was given fake identification when Charlie was handed over with strict instructions not to use any kind of magnetic instrument on her body. Jemma hadn’t been sure if the tracker would be affected by any such forces, but she didn’t want to take chances. She hoped her assumption proved correct that any liquid substance they injected wouldn’t harm Charlie; it did stand to reason that the girl would be fine if she’d lasted this long, unknowing of the tech.

Jemma sat in the uncomfortable chair, watching Charlie breathe and listening to the heart rate monitor. The doctors were unsure what path to take with her coma, having been fed simple lies by Jemma. Unnatural powers and strange trackers were left entirely out of the fabricated story. 

The two of them had been there a couple hours. Fitz had called three times to make sure things were fine before finally being scolded by Coulson to focus on their mission. Jemma had been driving all the doctors insane by poking her nose in on their test results. They didn’t take kindly to an outsider, even one with a medical degree or two, trying to take over their diagnosis.

Not much had been done so far; any test they ran had time requirements beyond what Jemma herself would have been limited by. The hospital was very busy and had finite resources at hand. Jemma sighed, knowing she could be doing a much better job if she and Charlie were on the Bus.

A commotion down the hall from Charlie’s room disturbed Jemma’s thoughts. She stood and went to the door curiously.

Numerous patients were being wheeled through, all looking to be in critical condition. Jemma saw the doctor assigned to Charlie rushing after them all; evidently, he had been paged to help. Knowing any progress on finding out what was wrong with her friend was now stunted further, Jemma bit her lip. She was just thankful Charlie’s vitals were still strong.

As Jemma turned to go back to her horrid chair, a sharp pinch stabbed at the back of her neck. She gasped, feeling the needle sliding back out of her skin, and tried to whirl around when a hand covered her mouth.

Silently she was lowered to the ground and her eyes grew heavy, fluttering shut as she reached out a hand towards Charlie with sluggish desperation.

* * *

Jemma opened her eyes, overwhelmingly disorientated. Her back and neck hurt and she realised why when she unfolded herself from the hospital chair. Shaking her head, she blinked rapidly before yawning. She didn't remember falling asleep but she supposed she had been rather tired even before the team had journeyed to find Audrey and Daniels.

She rubbed at her neck to work out the kinks and turned to find an empty bed.

Instantly she was up. Charlie’s condition hadn’t changed the last that Jemma remembered, and after checking the room’s private bathroom, it was clear Charlie was not here. Panicking, she rushed to the nearest nurse and pulled him aside. 

“Excuse me, my friend, she’s gone! I fell asleep and now I can’t find her!” When the nurse looked nonplused, Jemma snapped, “She’s supposed to be in a coma for god’s sakes!”

“Um, your friend was given that room, right?” he nodded to where Jemma had just come from. At her impatient nod, he frowned at her. “Well she got up and left. Clearly it wasn’t a coma.”

“What do you mean she left?”

“Exactly that. She walked out.”

Frustrated, Jemma watched the nurse leave before going back to the hospital room. Not knowing what to do and worried something had happened, she started to reach for her phone to call Coulson. She wasn’t looking forward to telling Fitz that Charlie was missing.

She paused when her eyes caught on a piece of paper. On the bedside table, a note was scrawled in Charlie’s handwriting.

_Simmons, I can’t put you and the others in danger anymore. I’m leaving, but don’t look for me, I’ll be safe._ _Please tell Fitz I’m sorry._

Pressing her lips together, Jemma put the note in her pocket.

This definitely wouldn’t end well.

* * *

“What do you mean she left?” 

Jemma winced at the crack in Fitz’s voice. Trip glanced at her before looking back at the road.

“Fitz, we knew Charlie wanted to leave,” Coulson tried to tell him gently from in the back of the van.

“Yeah, but she wasn’t actually going to do it! She wouldn’t!”

“Fitz, she waited until I fell asleep,” Jemma said quietly. “She knew we didn’t agree with her plan.”

“But she was in a coma! You’re telling me she just magically woke up and decided to leave first thing without asking what was wrong with her?”

“There wasn’t anything wrong with her,” she argued. “Her vitals were steady and there were no outward effects from Daniels’ powers. I think her body just needed time to rest and adjust.”

“Okay, well, let’s say she did just wake up then,” Fitz added, his voice unbelieving. “There must have been some kind of side effects from the Darkforce exposure if she just left without any communication other than a stupid note!”

“We have to respect her decision, Fitz,” Coulson’s voice was firm. “She wanted to leave for the good of the team and we have to acknowledge that.”

“But splitting up is bad!”

“Enough, Fitz. She’s taken care of herself for years, she’ll be fine.” Coulson softened his tone then, “We’ll ask Skye to find her when we get back to Providence. She’ll have better luck than any of us, you know that.”

Fitz’s head raised a little from where he’d been slouching. “So we’re not just going to leave Charlie out there all alone?”

“Of course not, she’s part of the team now. So we will  _respect her_ _decision_ ,” he emphasised, before smiling, “while looking after her from a distance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was very strange not following Charlie's perspective in this chapter but I hoped you liked how I wrote Jemma :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it's been a while. Sorry about that! I can't promise new chapters anytime soon either because I've moved up to full-time with my job, but I hope you like this chapter regardless. It's been a pain to write, which is why it's taken so damn long.

Charlie’s memory was hazy. She vaguely recalled waking up in a hospital bed and seeing Jemma sleeping in a chair. She could remember how focused her brain had been on leaving, on getting away from SHIELD, to protect them all. The details were fuzzy though. There had been a pen and paper, she recalled, and she’d found a pile of her clothes by Jemma’s feet. A nurse had watched her leave with a blank expression and then she’d been outside the hospital, streets away, walking aimlessly in the dark.

Her awareness had slowly trickled back to her as she wandered, and she felt confused. She didn’t understand why she’d been in the hospital or even why she’d left so urgently; whilst she had decided leaving was ultimately for the best, she’d wanted to help with Daniels first and then make sure she said a proper goodbye to Fitz.

And as that thought reached her mind, she paused on the pavement. She’d barely stopped for a few seconds before she’d been grabbed and fell unconscious.

Now she was waking up again, feeling very disorientating. The first thing she noticed, after going through the events of what had happened, was that she’d been placed on a bed. The second thing she noticed was that she wasn’t alone. She could hear someone muttering, presumably into a phone.

“I understand that, sir, but the best course of action would be to wait until we’re sure they’re not looking for her.” There was a moment of silence, before the male voice continued. “So, what should I do with her? I’m guessing you don’t want me to keep her asleep for that long.”

Charlie slightly opened her eyes and used her sight to find where this man was. Luckily, he was a room away from her, but that wasn’t what caught her attention. His soul was grey.

She shut her eyes immediately.

How? How could it be grey? How could _Coulson’s_ be grey? This man, her kidnapper, had no implication of any other colour but grey in his soul; Coulson’s had merely been grey-tinged, the main force of orange-white shining through beneath it. Both were impossible and yet the evidence was there.

She didn’t understand what this meant but she knew she had to incapacitate this man before he realized she was no longer unconscious.

Carefully, so very carefully, she extended her hand, opened her eyes and grasped his soul in her palm. He was still talking into his phone, so she took a breath and she squeezed hard.

A thump in the other room announced her success and she gingerly sat up on the bed. They seemed to be in a large hotel room. Glancing around, there were no personal effects anywhere she could see. Slipping into the bathroom, the only door other than the entrance, she saw a man slumped on the floor. Beside him was a strange little device, almost like a pager, and picking it up she realized a voice was emanating from it.

She bit her tongue and listened.

“Doss, what’s going on? Is she awake? You need to keep her sedated until you’ve relocated. Doss? Answer me.”

The voice was also male, and it was low and smooth. When her kidnapper (Doss, she supposed) didn’t respond, there was a huff and then a short beep. She gripped the strange communicator in her hand, knowing it was inactive, and glanced down at Doss.

He looked completely ordinary other than his strange clothing. It looked almost like armour; the dark leather was matte and didn’t give at all when she pushed on his shoulder. He was still breathing at least, and she let out a breath of relief.

Even though he’d kidnapped her, she didn’t want to be responsible for anyone else’s death. In retrospect, she knew she’d squeezed his soul about as firmly as she had Jacob Lawrence’s, to make sure it knocked him out. If anything, his survival also bewildered her, grateful as she was.

Other than the weird phone and outfit, she didn’t really see anything odd about the man. Why was his soul completely grey? What did it mean? Why did he take her?

She searched him over more closely this time, opening his jacket. Inside the long coat, was six syringes; two were empty but the others were filled with orange liquid. She took one out of his vest and held it up curiously before turning the man over and rifling through his back pockets. In one there was a smaller device than the phone, and though she was hardly trained in such things, somehow she knew this was a locater.

With wide eyes, she gripped onto her left arm. This man, Doss, must work for the person who gave her the tracker. Suddenly scared, she backed away from him and collapsed on the floor, breathing heavily.

“It’s fine,” she whispered to herself. “You’ll be fine.”

But she wasn’t an engineer like Fitz or a biochemist like Simmons; she didn’t know what to do with the technology she’d found or what was in the strange syringes. She needed help, she knew that, but she didn’t want to go back to SHIELD while she still had this awful tracker, especially now that her fears had come true and someone had actually used it to find her.

Steadying herself, she stood and rummaged around the hotel room for some kind of container. She found some plastic bin liners in the bathroom cupboard, and seeing that it came with usable handles, she snagged one. Taking one of the pillows from the bed, she stripped off the pillow cover and put it inside the plastic bag as an inside layer. The communicator, syringes and locator all then went into the pillow case which nicely cushioned the needle points, while the plastic bag hid all evidence of what was inside. Happy with her DIY, she looked over the man one more time, wanting to tie him up or something, but not having anything to use that would hold.

Sighing, she left the hotel quickly, avoiding the staff and guests. Outside, she tried to determine her surroundings, realizing she was a few towns over from where she and the others had intercepted Daniels. She remembered being hit with Darkmatter now, remembered hitting the ground and everything going black.

She also could remember the note she’d left for Simmons and felt guilt rise within her. Unwilling to let it change her mind, she went on her way.

* * *

It had been over a month since that day. Charlie had managed to get back home, back to her new little flat in London, and she hadn’t heard a thing from Fitz or Coulson. She hoped they were okay but couldn’t bring herself to call and check. While they hadn’t come for her yet, contacting them might be what pushed them to do it and she couldn’t allow that.

She’d been searching for anyone who could take the tracker out. The results hadn’t been fruitful and on one particularly grim night, she’d held a knife to her arm, trying to convince herself she was strong enough to do it. But her hand had shook and tears had cascaded down her cheeks and she’d dropped the knife with a clatter.

She knew she couldn’t be the one to do it; not only because she was weak and it would clearly hurt a lot, but she had limited medical knowledge and was sure she’d ruin the insides of her arm somehow.

She wasn’t certain who would be able to take it out – another gifted maybe, a doctor. She thought she’d found a possible match once, but the woman had turned tail and run when she learned it was a tracker. Clearly the fear of being found by an unknown party was rampant within the gifted community. Charlie didn’t blame her.

She was at a loss for what to do when the call came. Her eyes darted over to the cupboard where she’d stashed the items taken from Doss, and her hand went to her left arm.

Her breathing unsteady, she picked up her phone. “Hi, Coulson.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> I have a Tumblr for news and ideas about all of my stories, existing and yet-to-be-written. **Feedback would be fantastic!** So if you want to interact with me more and have input on future decisions regarding my stories then head over to <http://fanpirex.tumblr.com>.
> 
> I look forward to possibly hearing from any of you! Thank you for reading my rambles, even if you don't wanna join in, and have a brilliant day!


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